I Almost Killed my Wife on Monday morning…… she has no idea how close she came to getting it!
It was just like a scene from ‘The Wedding Crasher’…. you know with Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. I’m referring to the bit with Will Ferrell in particular – if you know, you know! 😉
“God damn you! I almost nunchucked you – you don’t even realise!”
Ok, so that wasn’t exactly how it happened!
It actually wasn’t funny at all!
I was up SUPER early on Monday as I had a lot of important shit to get done!
Half way through composing my blog I was disturbed by a weird sound…. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but it got me spooked!
Normally, i’m the only one moving about in the morning, and I didn’t think to look at my computer screen…. silence….
Then I heard it again…. Jesus, it sounded like someone was trying to Jimmy the front door!
I heard footsteps in the lounge…..
My heart was beating fast by this point… I was in Fight or Flight mode… This was my house… Nobody breaks into MY FUCKING HOUSE – I wasn’t about to take flight without a fight damn it!
Without a thought, I leapt up from my chair, and sped through the playroom (Sounds like my house is massive – it isn’t) and charged through the door, fists clenched, heart beating out of my chest… ready to take the intruder down to China-Town!
It was my wife, Amanda….!
…………………….. *keep breathing you fool*………………..
“What the hell are doing downstairs at this time….. I almost killed you, you don’t even realise?”
She looked confused… then smiled sleepily “It’s 6:30am… I couldn’t sleep”
“I could have killed you!” I reiterated… (as if!)… “don’t do that again…. or could you text me at least, first!”
In case you’re wondering if that’s how we comunicate all the time in our house… we don’t! Except for when ‘Big Ted’ (my rumbunctious bugger-of-a-son) decides that 5:40 is when he gets up, and he’s going to let the whole street know about it!
‘Teddys awake xxx’
I hugged her for what seemed like about 5 minutes, while I recovered my breath, and my heart rate dipped back below 200!
It was funny after all!
‘But what if it had been a real intruder?’ I asked myself.
I’ve never been burgled before (touch wood) but people nearby have recently – what would I really do!
I guess the point i’m making is this all-be-it convaluted one; Like my good buddy Sean I train these days so I can protect my family first and foremost!
Sure I like lifting heavy weights (occasionally) – in fact I LOVE IT! But i’m not really lifting purely for looks per se; I never really have to be fair. I’ve always been in good shape!
I always think of it this way; I lift and train and sometimes make parts of my body bleed so that when the shit really does hit the fan i’m ready to act fast if necessary.
My family are my life and I will do anything in my power to keep them safe!
I flatter myself that most would be intruders would think twice on entering my house in the dead of night to take my hard-earned possessions, once I got a hold of them! I don’t often lose it as I tell my friends regularly, but when I do I would give myself a wide birth!
We all have this innate Fight or Flight response – it’s just human nature, that’s the way we’re programmed!
We can use it for good every time we hit the gym. If you’ve got a heavy set to do and you’re not feeling it for whatever reason, do what Sean does and picture his family in danger. Try and tap into that fight or flight mode and watch as the bar soars up from the floor!
When the reverse sled drags are feeling heavy and they just won’t budge, dig deep and find that place in your mind. Imagine there’s a lion up your ass and you’re on the menu. Would you pull the sled faster? Of course you would!
My wife was very lucky this Monday!
If i’m being completely honest, she would have kicked my ass!
But it’s the thought that counts, right?…. Right?
Have a Great day everybody!
Set your house alarms before you leave – scum-bag-thieves are rife this festive season!
Look out for your Neighbours!
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